Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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