Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
