it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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