so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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