New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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