She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
