Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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