If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just gargled with NyQuil
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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