I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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