Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I miss vodka workout Fridays
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize