guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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