And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
