I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
