Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I need to stop coming to work sober
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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