lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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