i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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