Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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