We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
