Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
