Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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