I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
