he shaved USA in his pubs
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I party with great urgency now.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
