We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
