they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
