How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
