Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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