K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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