she woke up with a sticky ear
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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