Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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