I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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