is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
