Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
