so explain again why im purple
no
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
