youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
