I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
