Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
