I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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