So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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