I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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