Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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