Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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