Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
