Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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