1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
