We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
