Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
How external is "for external use only"?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
