we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
