I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
