Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize