Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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