i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
