How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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