loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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