Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
