I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
