ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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