I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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