My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize