I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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