State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
