its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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