I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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