btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
