we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
