his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dignity is for republicans.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
