do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
