? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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