Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Randomize
