No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
