So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
