I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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