nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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