can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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