His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
