so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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