OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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