just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
