Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
