he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
