her vagine was all disorganized.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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