An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize